The gray days of winter are upon us here in the midwestern U.S. Not much sun, lots of clouds, and a light mist in the air. It’s the kind of day that’s perfect for pondering existential questions! So for today: the question of happiness. Here I’m thinking about the day-to-day type of happiness as well as the longer-term type of happiness that isn’t dependent on immediate circumstances.
What is the nature of happiness? Do we know when we’re happy? Can we do anything to make our lives happier? These are huge questions. I’m happy to say that I don’t feel the need to answer them. But I do like exploring the questions. To help with this, I found a great article about the history of happiness by Darrin McMahon, PhD. Here’s an excerpt:
“[Happiness is]…a relatively recent idea in the West which dates from the 17th and 18th centuries…. People prior to the late 17th century thought happiness was a matter of luck or virtue or divine favor. Today we think of happiness as a right and a skill that can be developed. This has been liberating, in some respects, because it asks us to strive to improve our lots in life, individually and collectively. But there have been downsides as well. It seems that when we want to be happy all of the time, we can forget that the pursuit of happiness can entail struggle, sacrifice, even pain.” (Happiness, The Hard Way, May 1, 2009)
I also found a website called the Happiness Project that takes a hands-on practical approach to happiness. On the site, Gretchen Rubin offers ideas for cultivating happiness in daily life.
There’s also some great footage from the classic documentary Inquiring Nuns Ask: Are You Happy?
The 1968 film features two Catholic sisters who approach people on the street in Chicago and ask them if they’re happy.
If a blogging nun approached you online and asked if you’re happy, what would you say?
Archived Comments
Marsha West January 26, 2011 at 2:40 pm
It’s never seemed likely to me that one would find happiness by pursuing it. Instead, it seems to me happiness finds us when we are receptive to it – always somewhat unexpected, always a gift.
The clouds part and the sun shines through: happiness.
(Maybe that’s because I live in the rainforest?)
Sister Maxine January 26, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Totally agree, Marsha! Also think that being receptive to happiness requires vulnerability. When we allow ourselves to feel happiness, there’s also the potential (very very great potential…) that we’ll feel other emotions too, like sadness and pain. Ah, but what is life without such a range of feelings!
Marg January 26, 2011 at 4:07 pm
I remember reading once, during one of my darker moments, that “we are about as happy as we make up our minds to be,” and I thought, “Harumph! If that isn’t blaming the victim, I don’t know what is!” But there’s something to that. Even when really sad or depressed, I’ve made it a point to try to find ONE thing to be happy about, even if it’s only the fact that the sun came up that morning.
While I agree with Marsha that “pursuing” happiness is less effective than letting it find us, I think you have to be open to seeing and accepting happiness when it arrives. We all know people (like Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh) who can find something gloomy in any situation. Been there, done that. I used to tell my students that “you’ll find what you’re looking for, so look for joy.” Hard to do some days, but it does happen.
Sister Maxine January 26, 2011 at 6:13 pm
Love the wisdom in that — “you’ll find what you’re looking for, so look for joy!”
Laura January 31, 2011 at 11:32 pm
I like that. Isn’t it like that saying, “If you only look for the worst in people, you will surely find it?” So, if you look for something to be happy about in your current circumstances, then you should surely find it. I think this concept of happiness is very closely tied to gratitude and graciousness…if you can find something to be thankful for, even if it is the air in your lungs and waking up today, then you have something to be happy about.
KCMayrie January 26, 2011 at 4:39 pm
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men [and women] are created equal, and they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, among those are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness…”
These words by Thomas Jefferson, so prominent in our Declaration of Independence, explain the American ideal…that we are all in pursuit of happiness. But, what IS happiness? Is happiness a state of being? Is it a transient emotion that comes and goes? Is happiness something that can be permanently achieved? Is happiness the same as joy?
To me, happiness is transient and fleeting, but something desired. I am happiest when I am able to spend quiet time with Jesus, or an afternoon with good friends, members of the community I am discerning with, or family doing something I enjoy. I am also happy when I am able to spark connections and interest my students in something we’re talking in class. I am happy taking a walk in nature, either in the woods or along the warm sand of the beach.
But it is also passing, it is not a constant state of existence for me, rather, something I pursue…I attempt to achieve. Not everything in life brings happiness or joy, but the idea is not to give up the pursuit…keep striving for it…
So, if a blogging nun asked me if I was happy? I’d say, for now, yes!
KCMayrie January 26, 2011 at 6:01 pm
One more thought to add…we aren’t promised happiness in this lifetime…only in the next (meaning heaven…)
Sister Maxine January 26, 2011 at 6:17 pm
Your comments are similar to Gretchen Rubin’s, KC! She talks about savoring the everyday things that make us happy and not waiting for the big, once-in-awhile things alone.
Catherine Lucia January 26, 2011 at 8:10 pm
I never think of happiness, only ever of joy. And it seems to follow me in the form of Jesus, nuns, and simple things – soccer games and good books, laughter and ice cream.
Another Sister Julie, CSSF January 27, 2011 at 12:00 pm
This reminds me of that joke that gets passed around the email circuit from time to tome. It’s about a dog and a cat. The cat is journaling his “days of captivity” and how he tries and tries again to wreak vengeance on his owners. On the other hand, the dog rejoices over everything:
Dog food! My favorite thing!
A ball! My favorite thing!
A tummy rub! My favorite thing!
An old shoe! My favorite thing!
A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
An old leaf! My favorite thing!
A pat on the head! My favorite thing!
Something stinky to roll around in! My favorite thing!
(You get the idea.)
The cat is miserable because of his outlook on life, and the dog is happy because he finds joy in everything. Quite a parable, no?
marla January 30, 2011 at 2:23 pm
that’s totally cool.
Gayle OSF January 27, 2011 at 3:51 pm
But the cat’s sarcasm is one of life’s joys too.
Sr. Ann Marie January 28, 2011 at 11:37 am
I’ve thought about this a lot over the last two years as I struggled to come to terms with my brother’s illness (ALS) and death. Kept asking myself how I could be sad and yet, truly enjoying a funny story or a joyful experience. I finally came to the conclusion that (while I don’t really understand it) the joy is something so much deeper than the sadness.
Jeannie January 29, 2011 at 3:19 pm
I agree with Catherine when she says, I never think of happiness, only ever of joy. While happiness can be fleeting and hard to find J.O.Y. can always be found. Bishop Richard Grecco said it best when he said the word joy is an acronym which stands for Jesus, Others, Yourself. Serve Jesus, then others and you will have joy for yourself.
Kathleen January 29, 2011 at 9:14 pm
Loved everything about this posting … the smiling sunshine and the color yellow in the picture, Sister Maxine’s words, links to articles and websites and the video. I was especially moved by the Sister who held the mic and completed much of the interview. I felt her happiness/joyfulness in the warmth of her eyes, smile and voice. She seemed delighted with her interviewing task. I also had the sense that she is a happy/joyful woman of God.
Yes, I am happy/joyful. I am grateful to God for the life he has provided, for the beauty in his world, Mass, Adoration, Rosary. I am happy/joyful for my family, friends, neighbors, community, and new job and even during suffering, which seems quite small compared to others. Most importantly, I am happy/joyful knowing that along with all, I am a precious child of God.
In my Prayer Journal (a lovely gift from a new/dear friend who purchased at recent Retreat) today, I was touched by a quote by G.K. Chesterton which appeared at the top of the page. “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder”
I’ll close by offering gratitude for all of my dear friends at NLM. I am happy/joyful when I am participating in PWTS or Ask Sister, or praying for, thinking about, laughing with … the wonderful people in this community.
Kathleen January 30, 2011 at 12:37 pm
Seems the Holy Spirit wanted me to continue pondering the question about happiness.
After reading one of my favorite gospels “Sermon on the Mount” which include the Beatitudes, the lovely meditation found at http://www.rc.net states: The word Beatitude literally means “Happiness“ or “Blessedness”.
